Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Nash

"The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once..."- Anonymous

"You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to."- Henny Youngman

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."- Rodney Dangerfield

"A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong."- Milton Berle

"Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy."- Anonymous

"A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."- Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."